Books....

Right now I am reading Must Love Dogs. It is funny because I didn't really like the movie too much, so I am not sure how the book ended up on my to-read list over at goodreads, but somehow it did, and so I am reading it... If only for the pleasure of crossing it off my list. (I get A LOT of pleasure from crossing things off of lists.)I am enjoying the book pretty well. The main character, Sarah, is divorced and is just plugging along in life, not taking any chances. She wants to date, fall in love, spend time with people, HAVE A REAL LIFE... she even knows she wants these things... and she knows how to go about getting them... she just doesn't have the courage to take the first steps. Each time she goes to make a change, she puts it off. She chickens out at the last moment.
I am so like Sarah in my life right now. I feel like my soul has shrunk down to this tiny little ember, and although it is still smouldering, there is very little warmth being felt. I want to spend more meaningful time with my kids. I want to plan family outings. I want to see my family more. I want to talk to people. I want to connect, to make friends, to keep friends. But when it comes right down to it, I never take the necessary steps to do these things. I stick with my same old routine. I spend my weekends doing chores, shopping, working out. I rarely call anyone. I don't invite people over. I have lost my courage.