Monday, March 30, 2009

Procrastination

So, have I ever told you my theory about why I am such a procrastinator? The idea comes from way back in the 80's... when I was in good old pyschology 101 in college. You see, we learned about stuttering. About what reinforces the stuttering person. When a stutter develops, the person feels tension, stress, etc. building up inside them. Then, when the words are finally released, there is a natural relaxation... a kind of internal reward. The more severe the stuttering problem, the more severe the stress, and, consequently, the more pleasurable the release.
For me, I follow this same pattern with procrastinating. The longer I put something off, the more I worry about it, the more stress builds up over it. Then, when I finally complete the task there is a great relief, a great feeling of accomplishment. Sometimes I will have a little task to do... for example, going online and ordering books for parents at school. It takes about 15 minutes if I don't dally around, but I have been carrying around those blasted book orders since March 10. I keep thinking about it, worrying about it, wondering... should get express shipping? Can I afford to buy anything? Will there be books available for my Literacy Night in May? And on and on, so tonight when I finally took the few minutes to complete the book order it felt like I had REALLY ACCOMPLISHED something. The stress is gone.
Now, if only my classroom memory books were up to date!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

In Shock!

So here's a quote I came across on Ali Edwards' blog:
Souza : For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This persective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.
It's weird, because I was just beginning to feel like real life was starting. We were so settled and happy here in our new home. Of course, with 2 teenagers in the house things are always a little up in the air. I am always wondering (and worrying) what they have going on in their lives that I do not know about... But, overall, it just felt like a comfortable, mostly obstacle free, happy life.
Then, Monday happened. On Monday, Mark found out that among many other cuts at his place of work, his job was being eliminated. I was in complete and utter shock. The first words out of my mouth were actually, "You're joking." I spent most of Monday in a daze. Tuesday I was depressed and cried pretty much off and on all day. By Wednesday I had moved on to righteous indignation, and was spending most of my free time telling off all of the upper management at his company from my soapbox in my head. Today I think I am nearing acceptance. Mark, of course, has handled it all wonderfully. He keeps "looking at the bright side" and is really calm and focuses on "keeping all his options open." I actually overheard him say to someone on the phone that he is "looking at it as a new challenge." He also has a couple of different job opportunities lined up. I am really proud of him and his resilient spirit. I also worry a little that I might be married to Pollyanna! Just kidding, of course. Overall I am sure we will be fine. We will be making some changes around here to make ends meet again. I am giving up my darling Volvo. We are trying to sell our week in Cabo. I will teach summer school without using the money to buy my dream camera. There will be no more HBO. The heat has already been readjusted, so sweaters are often necessary. It's not the end of the world. We aren't moving. We aren't losing our lovely new home. We aren't selling the kids into a life of slavery. :-) So, here we are again.... only 4 short months after our last big obstacle was overcome. We ar trying to find happiness in this life. Our life.

P.S. In light of our recent upset, it would be nice if all you lurkers (like the 5 of you who actually read my blog) would come out of lurkerdom and announce yourself for me with a little comment. Especially Olivia and Veronica. I know you girls are reading this, so say something. THANKS!

Friday, March 06, 2009

Aaahhhhh....

It's Friday, fabulous Friday. Had a good day at school, even with several people sick from the flu. We ended our celebration of Dr. Seuss' birthday by eating green eggs and ham. One little guy sat with his lips sealed tight and just stared at me. There was NO way he was gonna try even one bite. I did my best to encourage him to be brave, but he wasn't having any of it. Another boy took one bite and announced he didn't like it, but then when everyone else kept going on and on about how good it was, he took another bite and decided he liked it, then ate the whole plate.
Now I'm home. Pepper is at my feet alternating between chewing chunks of plastic off of his pig and licking it. Occasionally he whacks me in the leg with it, and I reach down and throw the slimy thing across the room for him. I am listening to this new all hits radio station and so far I've heard "Eye of the Tiger" (which I hate) and some weird 70's song I swear I've never heard and some Air Supply. They are NOT on a roll.
I am looking forward to (maybe) talking Mark into taking me out to dinner, and to sleeping in tomorrow, and to going to a fun wine tasting in Tuolumne Co in April, and to someday owning a digital camera so I can post more pictures here.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Book Update

Last year I found this list of 100 books everyone should read on goodreads.com. I was really excited about it because it was actually a list that I had read a good portion of. So here's an update of how many of these books I have read since I first posted the list. Check it out: (items with * I have read... items with * that are bold are ones I've read since I found the list)
*1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
*2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
*3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
*4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
*5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible (some more of it)
*7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
*10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
*12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
*15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
*16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
*18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
*21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
*30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
*33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
*34. Emma - Jane Austen
*35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
*36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
*37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
*39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie-the-Pooh - AA Milne (some of it)
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
*42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
*46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
*48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
*49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
*51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
*54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
*59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
*60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
*61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
*62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
*64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
*68. Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby-Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
*73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
*76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - A. S. Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
*85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
*87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
*88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
*91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
*99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

So, only 5 new ones in the last several months, I am going to have to get refocused! What's new that you are reading?