Change

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy or unfullfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." M. Scott Peck

This is my life this summer. Uncomfortable. Unhappy. Unfullfilled. It is an emptiness from deep inside myself that no else can fill. I have to find the source of the aching. I have to comfort myself. I have to find what makes me happy. I have to achieve fulfillment. I know, deep down, where to find this comfort, happiness, and fullness. I know. It is my spirituality that is unnurtured. It is the truth of love, the gift of Jesus. For the last two years I have allowed my life to be defined by finances.... by our lack of (permanent) home. I need to find a supportive community... a place of peace and kindness. A place that I can go to become refreshed. A place where ideas are freely shared and discussed.

The picture above was taken not long after we moved to Sonora (about 10 years ago). It was taken during a time when my discomfort was so severe I spent part of each day weeping for what I had left behind... weeping from fear of the future... weeping because I had lost my family, my sense of self. It was during those 10 years that I really grew up. I became the me I am today. I felt truly alive and happy and secure in myself. Who would have guessed that coming back to the beginning... to the place I had so unwillingly left.... that this act of coming home would once again cause me so much heartache? I must rediscover myself. I must be reborn.