Friday, February 24, 2012

Growing into a Man

I remember the day he was born like it was just yesterday. How Mark and I parked WAY out in the Kmart parking lot and walked and walked around trying to get something going even though he wasn't due for 2 more weeks. How we went home and I kinda, sorta thought maybe I had a slow leak of amniotic fluid. So we drove to the hospital in Fortuna... I didn't think it was the real thing... just something to kill time on a sunny, January day while we were waiting for the due date. But when I got up out of the car, my water broke and my stomach lurched as I realized that I was actually going to deliver a child sometime soon. We hadn't even brought along the suitcase... The suitcase wasn't even fully packed... so Mark left me, with my heart pounding, and my insides quivering, and drove back home to get everything. I felt the first of those labor pains in a state of panic, shocked by how much they actually hurt. And after 18 long hours he finally arrived. It was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life up to that point. And as soon as I looked into his dark, blue eyes, I knew it was worth it. As a mother, I have had more of these moments of stark panic... unsure if I was doing the right thing, but he has always been easy to parent... we grew into this together. And Mark has always been a steadfast support, partner and Dad.
Now, it's been 20 years since that day, and we've watched him grow into a man. He is tall. He goes to college and works. He is kind, patient, loyal and hardworking. He is slow to anger. He is all the things I could have dreamed. Someday soon he will leave our house and venture out to create his own home. And even thought this day looms nearer each moment, I have left behind the feelings of panic. He will be OK.

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