White Knuckled

Yesterday as I was driving home I got a phone call from the girl. She was home from school and wanted me to take her driving when I got there. For some strange reason I agreed. Without hesitation. What was I thinking?

I hadn't driven with her in a really long time. Our first try at driving she freaked me out so bad I had her pull over. She swerved to the edge of the road without slowing down. Later she very matter of factly said, "That's how Juno does it."

The second time I let her drive she got so mad at me that when I had her pull into my parents' driveway she jumped out of the car with out putting it in park and stormed off leaving the driver door open and the car rolling forward.

So you can see why it surprises me that I readily agreed. What was I thinking?

She has been driving with Mark twice now. To a parking lot. She has also had her first official driving lesson with the paid instructor. So, I guess I thought she had improved. What was I thinking?

Anyway, we got into the car and she pulled the seat up as far as it will go so her short little legs can reach the pedals. Then she adjusted her mirror and looked over her shoulder. Then she waited a few minutes before pulling out.... without looking over her shoulder again. Luckily no one was coming. We drove around a little in our neighborhood before heading out onto the real road. We have really wide streets in out neighborhood, and she did pretty well. She didn't really slow down before turning the car, however. She does all of her braking in the middle of the turn. I mentioned that, and on we went.

Unfortunately, we were out right around 5:00, so the traffic was pretty thick. She was going well below the speed limit and had trouble keeping the car in her lane. I am sure some of those impatient drivers backed off because they thought they were traveling behind a drunk. Maybe I should make a "Student Driver" sign to put in the back window.

We drove through town on some not too busy roads and out onto a country road. I hung in there for 30 minutes. I tried to keep my voice steady and my hands from clutching the door for safety. She almost veered off the road several times while looking into her rear view mirror. At one point she said, "You really make me nervous." I just sighed and didn't answer.

On the way back she was more steady. She kept the car in a somewhat straight line and only veered out of her lane twice. She even did a perfect parking job by the curb in front of our house.

When I walked into the house, Mark said, "You look haggard." I guess my face was somewhat tensed up and crinkly from the stress. Again, What was I thinking?

The next few times it's his job to take her out. He's supposed to be the one teaching her anyway. I did the boy's driving lessons. And since he's always making fun of me for being a bad driver, he shouldn't be relying on me to teach both of our kids to drive!!

A Saturday...

reading: Watership Down

feeling: very low on energy

cooking: steaks, broccoli au gratin, rice pilaf, & rolls for dinner... with brownies for dessert!

completing: laudry, shopping, paper correcting and recording

watching: Inception on DVD from Netflix ( I liked it)

worth thinking about: I have looked down the long days of our lives together, she said & in all directions, there is no future without love. -Brian Andreas

Thankful Thursday

The exhausted edition....

1. Thankful that I got home at a decent hour today and already have all my papers corrected and entered into the computer gradebook except the American Revolution Narratives.

2. Thankful for friendly coworkers who pop into my classroom and chat.

3. Thankful Kyla had her first driving lesson with the paid instructor today and arrived home safely. She said that he said she "did a good job, but neede to practice".

4. Thankful we had one day this week with some sun shining down on us.

5. Thankful I have almost all of the laundry completed before the weekend. (I didn't start last weekend's laundry until Tuesday, so I just kept on washing everything, and I should get by doing only one load this weekend.) Yeeeee!

6. Thankful I bid on a Family Portrait Package at the Luau for Learning (a school fundraiser), and I won it!!

7. Thankful the Luau for Learning earned around $15,000. Nice job ladies!!

8. Thankful my kiddos have been coming to church with me on Sundays since I re-offered the "If you come to church, I will take you out for lunch after" deal. Last Sunday they both came along, and we had a terrific discussion about God's path for each person's life over chips and salsa at Rita's.

9. Thankful the engine light on my car has been off for 2 days straight. I keep looking down there thinking something's wrong since there is no light shining up at me.

10. Super, duper Thankful that Mark booked our airfare to Cabo this week. My soul is thirsting for some relaxation and my body is yearning for some sun. I just keep closing my eyes and imagining I am here:

(This picture was actually taken in La Paz, but you know what I mean!)
Happy Thursday!
Love, Nancy

Missing him

Mark is out of town for the week. I just don't function well without him. It is like I am missing my anchor. I just need him here to hug me when I am feeling needy. To chat about other things and take my mind off my worries. To help me put things in perspective. And he makes me laugh.
Seriously, if you can look at this and not laugh, you have a heart of stone. Miss you babe.

Monday

working: It's parent teacher conference week. I have 25 conferences to do. Today I had them scheduled from 1:30-5:30 back to back. The first cancelled and two others didn't show. It was nice to have the break, but now I have to reschedule.


reading: Remarkable Creatures by Tracy Chevalier. You know, she wrote The Girl with a Pearl Earring. This one is about a pair of women during the 1800's who discover fossils along England's coastline. Friendship, scientific discovery, God. It's all in there.

feeling: A little lonely since Mark is in Redding for the week getting his Crane Certification.

cooking: Pancakes for dinner tonight

worth thinking about: If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. J.K. Rowling

Wish

I go through phases of feeling greedy. Times when I want, want, want.... no matter what I have. It's a dream of a different life. Don't get me wrong, I love this life, but sometimes I just can't stop wanting...

1. A weekly manicure/pedicure
2. 10 hours of sleep each night
3. Close friends nearby who I can call up at a moment's notice or drop in on for a visit.
4. A flat stomach and tiny waist
5. A housekeeper
6. A private jet to take me away on vacation
7. More time to read
8. A weekly girls' night out
9. A pair of really fabulous comfortable boots
10. Walls covered with glorious pictures I have taken

I could go on and on, but that's not really the point. Whenever I find myself in this greedy place, I try to stop and take note of all the wonderful things I have in my life. I try to stop and make a list of all the things I am thankful for. I try to stop and revel in the beauty of this very moment.

So why does this greedy me keep coming back?

Thankful Thursdays

1. I am so thankful that my 4th graders' have completed their STAR Writing Test. I was almost positive it was going to be a summary (since they haven't tested summary in a long time) and I was right!! We had been working on summaries for AGES! If it would have a been a Response to Literature with poetry I would have cried.

2. Thankful that the week is almost over and the weather is giving us a break with one day of NOT RAIN tomorrow. Can't wait to sit outside (in my wool coat) and soak up some sun!

3. A big SHOUT OUT to Cindyanna for taking time out of her busy day of mothering 2 babies to read my 5th graders' summaries. A fresh perspective is always good! Thank you!!

4. Always thankful for the cozy little weiner dog hanging out on my lap.

5. And the big one for today.... So thankful that the mechanic has finally found the time to install my new fuel pump. The Volvo is back in my garage. I haven't driven it yet, but Mark says it's running great. I am gonna feel 30 feet tall driving to work tomorrow!

Grand Prix

So one of the many stories you missed out on due to my lack of blogging for the past 2 months was our acquisition of a Pontiac Grand Prix.
After my car became stranded in the shop (where it remains to this day) and the boy's car died an untimely death, we were left with one car... the Audi A8... and 3 people with different places they needed to be each day. Mark to work and back, Me to work and back, and Mason to school, work and back. (Thank God for the bus that gets Kyla where she needs to be.)
I beleve the death of the BMW occured on a Wednesday night. As the boy was driving home from school, the BMW kept reducing its speed until he was forced to pull over at the top of the hill on Herrick, unable to continue, and walk the rest of the way home. When Mark and I got home from work (we were driving together each day at that point in time), we got the car and managed to drive it over to the shop where Mark was having it worked on. It was a really bad week for the boy to be without a car. He had just started back to school, and he had to get a drug test that week in Arcata to start work at SPI the next week. Fortunately, after many pleading phone calls, we arranged rides for him to get through the week.
We thought long and hard about what would be the best solution to our car shortage. We considered renting a car, borrowing a car, etc. Eventually, it became clear to us that we should just find an inexpensive, reliable car and buy it outright. So on the next lovely Saturday, Mark and the kids set off for Sacramento. They had originally planned on buying a VW beetle, but it was sold. Then they had their sights on a Grand Am, but it too was sold. So on their arrival they found this Grand Prix.

Kyla loved it.... and was very verbal about loving it.... much to Mark's chagrin and the salesman's glee. And after a 10 hour drive and a few hours at the dealer, they trio arrived home with Kyla's new car. She owes us $2500 for her half of it. So far she has earned $25. I predict she will start working harder to pay it off now that she has her permit and the driving bug has bitten her!
Isn't she just the cutest?!

February Happenings

This post will take the form of a list because I am in a "list" mood.

1. My Volvo has been in the shop since Christmas break. Yep, about 2 months. It needed a new wheel bearing (which was easily accomplished). And, even though it was running fine in my opinion, it needed a new fuel pump. (And there's where we had our hang up) Apparently, the fuel pump I needed is exceedingly rare. So we tried buying fuel pumps off the internet and from local auto parts stores and through our mechanic, but lo and behold 7 (wrong) fuel pumps later and my car is still in the shop. Actually, Wednesday, Mark and I drove to the Volvo dealer in Santa Rosa and bought the correct fuel pump ( I guess 8 is the magic number!) and now we are just waiting for it to be installed. I am comfortably settled in Mark's Audi, so I have been barely inconvenienced by being without my Volvo for 2 months, but Mark is using an old Ford from his work, and I think he wants his car back at some point. I will keep you updated about when this actually happens.

2. The boy's BMW died last month also. The transmission went out. And it was going to cost him more to replace it than he paid for the car, so he sold it to the mechanic. He is now saving his money for a Mitsubishi Eclipse.

3. The girl got her driver's permit yesterday. She was pretty nervous in the DMV waiting room. And since we got there late and had no appointment we waited for about a half hour. Her body was actually shaking.... like, vibrating... from her nerves. I went along for moral support, but she did all the talking and even filled out her own paperwork. She missed only 6 questions. I was impressed. So now the fun of teacher her how to drive begins. Luckily it's Mark's turn. I taught the boy.

4. I took ZERO pictures in the month of February. Yep, that's right, none, nada, zip. I am planning on taking my camera to school Monday to take pictures for the February memory book. I think I will do group shots. One of the 4th graders and one of the 5th. I have no idea what the page theme will be about. Maybe something about friendship. Hmmmmm.... I'll have to think on that.

5. I am currently reading The Remains of the Day. It is really interesting although slow in some parts. Working hard to get through it this week. My goal for the year is 52 books. That's one per week. Right now I have completed 7, so I am a little behind. I thought I'd get more reading accomplished this week, but it's just not happening. Oh, well, there's always summer.

6. My work out schedule has really stalled out this year. I don't have much enthusiasm for doing it, and after I work out I don't feel like I've accomplished anything. I think it's a Boot Camp hangover. Trying to decide if I should rejoin Boot Camp in March. What do you think?

7. The weather has been crazy. When I put Pepper out this morning there were little piles of icy snow around the trees. BRRRRR! Now it is sunny but windy. Trying to work myself up for a walk. The dog could sure use it. Poor, fat baby!! He seems pretty cozy curled up on my lap right now, though. Maybe we'll skip the walk. :-)

Wow!

So I can't believe I skipped a whole month of blogging. Long ago, when I was in a beginning teacher mentoring program, the leader used to talk about the "energy level" of teachers and how their year progresses. Say we put it on a scale of 1-10. 1 meaning you are completely depressed, you feel like things in your classroom are going horribly and you don't want to be there. Conversely, 10 would mean you feel great about each day, you are optimistic about the things that are happening in your classroom and you love your class and your job. Well, teachers start out around the 7 mark in Late August and early September... they dip a little in late October when the crazy Halloween energy hits, they go up a bit in preparation for the Winter break... Then, it's January. That month of January and the dreaded February are a teacher's low point. They bottom out around 4 or maybe even 3 before picking up steam and finishing off in June with an 8.
So what is my point in all this blathering? Well, I have had a particulary hectic and stress filled January. I have been feeling the pressure of getting my class ready for state testing (a writing test in March and the BIG ONE in early May). I have slacked off on the working out, which inevitably makes me feel worse, but I just can't seem to fit it in. I have slacked off on housework. And we have had a large number of car related issues I won't go into at this time. It has been a tough month.
Sorry for abandoning Blogland. I will try to get back her more often. Miss you!

Love, Nancy

Goodbye, 2010

This was a hard year for me. One of the hardest I can remember. Having to face the idea of not having a classroom.... of being unemployed... facing the reality that people I thought would value my job in Ferndale enough to save it.. did not. It broke my heart. It filled me with self doubt. It hurt.
But now there's a new place. I like it there. The kids are older. They can do things I never could have imagined in Kindergarten. They are funny. And smart. And filled with life experience. They are not as affectionate or honest as Kindergartners. They have already put on masks to hide their true selves in many situations. You see, they care soooooo much about what their peers think. But they can write and discuss and remember with me. It is challenging. And fun. And my colleagues... they are wonderful. They always have a kind word and a smile for me. They work together. They support each other. I am blessed to be where I am now. It is just where I need to be.
And in this new year of 2011, I am hoping that my uncertainty will continue to diminish. Now that I've done this for a while, I have a better feel for what works, what doesn't, where I'm going and how I'll get all 25 souls in my charge to the places they need to be. My prayer is for the next few months to be filled with laughter and learning and community. Most of all, community.
Love, Nancy

Crazy Sweet!

That Crazy sweet Cindyanna bought me a bottle of my FAVORITE champagne just for feeding her fish and cats and bunny on Sunday. I just couldn't imagine it sharing it with anyone else, so I got her a babysitter and invited her out to lunch (with a champagne appetizer, of course!). Unfortunately for Cindy, the champagne gave her a head ache, so I had to do all the drinking. We went out to the Banana Hut. It was my first time there and it was yummmmmmmy. I had coconut prawns with sticky rice and a little salad. We talked and laughed for about 2 hours straight. It was fabulous! Thanks for coming to lunch with me!!

Little Bits

We had a little martini party out at Danette's on Thursday. Lots of laughter and catching up. Reconnecting. Planning a girls' trip. We met again on Monday for sushi. (I had beef teriyaki... I don't hate the raw fish, just the seaweed) I am so thankful for these two girls and for their insight and friendship.

Now tomorrow I am having lunch with Cindy. Yay!

Still Trying to Channel...

The Christmas Spirit.

One time on Hollywood Boulevard I saw a young girl with a baby. It was a crisp winter morning & her hair shone dark purple in the sun. She was panhandling outside the Holiday Inn & the door clerk came out & told her to be on her way & I wondered if anyone would recognize the Christ child if they happened to meet. I remember thinking it's not like there are any published pictures & purple seemed like a good color for a Madonna so I gave her a dollar just in case.

-Brian Andreas

Happy Birthday, Jesus

Happy Birthday, Jesus. I can't even begin to list all the reasons I'm glad you were born. I do want to tell you that I love you. I want to know you more and better. I want to see the world through your eyes and love people the way you love them. Thanks so much for loving me, for being there for me, for loving and caring for those I love (and even for the ones I don't, boy, do I need to grow up some more). I don't really have a gift for you personally (sorry, you're one of those "you have everything" kind of guys), but the Word says that when I do something for "the least of these," I'm doing it for you, so I'll be looking for opportunities to reach out to the needy, the broken, the heartsick. I am so glad you are here.
Love, Nancy

Ugh!!

Yesterday before I went to dinner at Danette's house, I forced my family to sit for a Christmas Card picture. We took about a dozen, and this one is the best of the bunch. Not great, but decent. I uploaded them to Costco and today I went to pick them up and they looked horrible. Ever since I got my new expensive lense Costco can't develop a single picture for me. They come out all wonky and dark. So, I returned the cards and went online for a new set from scrapbookpictures.com. They cost twice as much and who knows when they will arrive, but if they look decent it will be worth it. Look for your Christmas cards somewhere around New Year's.

Love, Nancy

Granny's Christmas Party

Every year my little granny puts on a HUGE Christmas party. She rents the hall at the Trinity County Fairgrounds and people come from all over to get together and catch up. Yesterday my mom and I drove over to Hayfork for it. My cousin Andy and his girlfriend Danielle have a sweet new baby named Cherilynn.
My cousin Logan (who was Santa) and his little daughter Josie.

My sweet Granny
Me and my Mama and Granny

I took loads of pictures and couldn't possibly upload them all here since Blogger is slow to upload and I am too lazy to resize them all. But I hope you find time to get together with people you haven't seen in a while. That's what Christmas is all about.

Love, Nancy

My Angel Tree

One of my favorite holiday traditions is putting up my angel tree. It's a solitary activity. The tree goes up in a flash, and that always puts me in a good mood. Then I carefully unwrap each ornament. Most of them have a story or association with someone that fills my heart up.

This angel was brought to me by my sweet friend Gina from Italy. I also have a pink glass ornament my Aunt Roni gave me that she bought when Uncle Blue was stationed in Germany almost 40 years ago. I have two clothespin angels with my babies handprints printed on muslin as wings. There is a cross given to me by my dear friend Marie when I was becoming a Christian. The raffia angel I bought on our trip to Kauaii is also a favorite. There is just something about that tree that touches me and helps me to remember what Christmas is all about.
Rejoice! Love, Nancy

Post a Day

Because it's the first day of Winter Break and th days of vacation seem to be stretched out before me like an endless row of unopened packages. My optimistic self is planning on posting every day until the end of 2010! Today I give you my fabulous theme wrap for this year. All of packages are wrapped in white paper, red paper with snowflakes or red, green and white striped paper with poinsettias on top. Aren't they pretty? I just love looking at them under the tree.

(Now let's just hope Pepper doesn't eat any of them like he did last year!)

Merry Christmas! Love, Nancy

Finding the Christmas Spirit...

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? [Christmas] came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more? Dr. Suess