Confessions of a true procrastinator....

1. I really need to post about "the boy" 's birthday... He turned 20 on January 21st.
2. I still (I know, I know, it's hard to believe) have a Christmas tree in my spare bedroom. The decorations are off of it and the blinds are closed so the neighbors don't know, but it's still standing... on February 4th. Yikes! That's gotta be some kind of record.
3. I have about a hundred pictures on my camera to upload from January.
4. I have about a thousand pictures on my computer to get printed... well, they need to be edited first... do you all remember how I feel about editing photos? Also I have these Costco certificates (2 of them actually) for one hundred free photos that I want to use. I wonder if they have an expiration date?
5. I haven't started my classroom memory books yet. I was planning on using the week off in February to get caught up, but now Mark and I are planning to go on a little trip. I am not sure how I will ever catch up!
6. I volunteered to be the creator of my school's yearbook at the last staff meeting. Even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I was thinking, "ARE YOU CRAZY?... YOU BARELY HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO GET YOUR CLASSROOM READY... YOU SHOULDN'T BE ADDING ANOTHER RESPONSIBILITY." But now I am committed. It doesn't look too complicated. Certainly less work than the memory books.

Wish me luck!!
Love, Nancy

Birthday Wishes

Thursday was Kyla's 18th birthday. The day I had been dreading since she proclaimed her intention to move out and try life on her own. We planned a little party for her with family and a few of her friends. A pizza party, just like she had for her first birthday. On Saturday I was sitting right here on my computer checking my email when Kyla came down from her room and said to me,
"How are you doing?"
"I'm OK." I said. "I am pretty sad about how the Saints lost their game to those awful 49ers."
"Well," she said, "Maybe I can cheer you up. I decided not to move out. I think I am just not ready to be on my own."
At those words my heart soared. I jumped up and hugged her and couldn't stop smiling. I actually was torn between dropping to my knees to pray in thanksgiving to God and jumping around hooting and hollering like a crazy person. So much weight and worry was lifted from me.

So on Thursday we had the little party. I made white cupcakes with raspberry filling and whipped cream frosting with a fresh raspberry on top. We ate pizza and visited and she opened her presents... a pair of Bailey Button Uggs from us and money from everyone else.
And it just feels so wonderful to know that for now she still lives here with us where we can see her sweet face every day. Where I can hear about her day and ask about her classes. Where I can barge into her room to look for my tweezers or hairspray that have gone missing from my drawer. Where she can tell me about the rude mom who yelled at the girl at work because she couldn't set up early for her kid's birthday party. Where I can read over her debate text and give her advice on it even if it irritates her. Where I can hug her.

I am so thankful for having the gift of being the mom to this stubborn, beautiful, independent 18 year old girl. And, I wish for her every happiness that the world can bring. I want her restless heart to travel to far away places and meet new people. I want her to find a career that she is passionate about. I want her to fall in love with a man who she can build a life with... one who is loyal and caring and makes her heart go pitter patter after 20 years of marriage. I want her to experience the wonder of being a mother.. to have her heart broken open by that love so pure it can endure almost anything. And, most of all, I want her to understand, down deep in her heart, that all of these wonderful gifts were given to her by God who loves her so perfectly that she does not have to hide any part of herself from him... God who knows everything about her and thinks she is a perfect part of His creation... God who sent his Son to die for her so that all of her mistakes would be washed away... God who would have done that for her even if she was the only human to need it.
Happy Birthday, sweet Kyla. Thank you for making our family complete and bring such joy to us. We are so proud to be your parents.
Love, Mama

Happy New Year!

There is so much going on already in 2012. Despite my depressing post from last month, things are going fairly well. I had a nice Christmas. I enjoyed a great staff party, fun family events and some much needed visits from out of town friends. I did not get half of what I expected to get done over the break, but for me that is pretty typical.

I did get to pick up my giant red Zen Bowl from Fire and Light before Christmas. I really love, love, love it. I tried it here on the coffee table for awhile, but now it is hanging out on the dining room table. Yay!

I had a pretty eventful "back to school" week with a new student moving into my class on Wednesday. His behavior has become successively worse each day. Even as a first grader he has been in 3 classrooms, and each move was made because of his behavior. I think he is just testing my limits.... seeing what is OK, what is not.... how much attention he will get, etc. I have been praying as often as possible for insight, wisdom and patience on how to reach him. I really want him to know that I value him. I also want him to know the joy of learning. Right now he is missing that desire to learn. I find it interesting that I just finished reading "A Circle of Children" by Mary MacCracken. It is a biography of a teacher of emotionally disturbed children. Many of her insights have helped me to get through this week. Thank you Mary, and Thank you God for putting that book into my hands at just the right time.

My goals for the weekend are: to take down the Christmas decorations (I took down the ones outside and closed the blinds so my neighbors wouldn't judge me on my late un-decorating)... to get my classroom prepared for a week of fun with first grade... to work out twice... to do the laundry... to rest thoroughly enough to get rid of my tired, old lady eyes and achy head.... to go to church.... to read. (If I get half of that done I'll be happy.)

Wishing you a glorious weekend! Love, Nancy

Advent

I remember the year before I was baptized... maybe 1998, advent was the most wonderful of seasons. I was fully engrossed in my classes as a catecumen (sp?) and it was so magical and full of wonder. I was learning so much about myself and God and my relationship to God through Jesus. I was growing as a person, a mom, a wife, a teacher. I was feeling acceptance and love beyond anything I had ever experienced. I was learning to accept and love myself. It was my first year with a teaching job in Kindergarten. I adored my class. I loved my coworkers. There were many complications and some challenges that year, but things just seemed to be coming together.
This year at advent I feel like things are coming apart. I am torn in so many different directions. I am loving my new job, but it is taking up so much of my time. For the two weeks before vacation I was busy from morning to night. I arrived at work by 7:45 and worked at school until 4:30 or 5:00, then came home made dinner and unpacked my bag and worked until 9:30 then looked at the messy kitchen and felt like curling up in a ball and retreating from the world. Then vacation arrived and I started to get caught up again. Then one day my daughter made a poor choice... a very poor choice... and she became grounded for a month in a declaration not spoken by me, a fair consequence, but one I would've liked to discuss. And now chaos has returned. There are angry words and hate-filled looks. Today she announced she will be moving out. She wants to do it immediately, but I have insisted she wait until January 19, when she turns 18. I had been thinking (somewhere in my brain) that I might throw her a surprise party for her birthday this year. Now, I am dreading the date. Will she really go? How will I feel not seeing her each day? How will I sleep at night not knowing where she is or if she's safe?
So in this time of struggle, I turn to the beautiful song that I sang each Sunday in church back in 1998...

For you O Lord, my soul in stillness waits...
Truly my hope is in You.

Please pray for my girl.
Love, Nancy

Kitchen Remodel

After much debating and many trips to local stores and picture surfing on the web... I finally decided what I wanted to do in my kitchen. Last Monday we started with some demolition. Here is the old tile and backsplash during the demo...

The little area of counter that we cleared stayed plywood for a while, then on Friday Mark put it together with the new materials. I picked a yellowish granite tile with lots of brown in it. It's called Giallo Amalfi. For the backsplash I chose recycled granite in the color 'espresso'. Here it is without the grout in it....
...

Here it is with the grout.....

Thankful Thursday... The Thanksgiving Edition

1. This evening as I was facing some unexpected turmoil in my day, I decided to take a few quiet minutes to myself and read the Bible. I picked some quotes used at a retreat I went to a couple of months ago. I read each one (savoring it) until this one stood out to me...

1Thessalonians 5:18-In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

I read this over and over, and I pondered it. I took time to give thanks for the person who brought the turmoil... for having them in my life. I took time to give thanks for the love and forgiveness God shows me every day. And I also prayed for the strength to interact with this person gracefully and with love.

I am so thankful for God's Word in my life.

2. I am thankful for a week of rest and catching up and working out and rejuvenation.

3. I am thankful for the little bit of scrapbooking I got done today.

4. I am thankful for finishing the editing of the pictures for my cousin's son's wedding I took in August. It was a late night last night, but I am happy to be finished.

5. I am thankful for the delicious food I will get to eat tomorrow, and for the nourishment I am blessed with each day.

6. I am thankful for the opportunity to remodel my kitchen... to pick for the very first time exactly what I want... just for me.


7. Finally, I am thankful for all of the people in my life... my family, friends, colleagues, students, acquaintences. Each is a blessing to me. If you are reading this, thanks for being YOU!

Love, Nancy

In my hands...

Today I held in my hands...
my puppy's ear as I flipped it back the way it is supposed to go when I let him in from his morning constitutional...
the keys to my car and classroom with my new gym badge to get into the gym...
the hand of the "Helper of the Day" as we walked in from recess...
a can of diet mtn. dew...sustenance...
report cards filled with little marks that mean so much to parents of the little people I spend my days with...
sweet french rolls as they transformed into sandwiches for dinner...
15 pound weights that had to be lifted above my head again and again until my shoulders ached...
the mouse for the computer as I check emails and update Facebook and check in on the online world...
an old classic edition of Oliver Twist... my next book on the list of 100 books I am trying to finish.

What did you hold in your hands today?

Dorothy

So at our school, ALL of the teachers dress up in a theme related costume on Halloween. We got to vote between school supplies and The Wizard of Oz. Obviously, The Wizard of Oz won. At one of our staff meetings in early October we discussed who was going to dress up as which character. I piped up that I would be Dorothy. The next weekend I trucked over to Joanne's Fabrics and spent $47 on material, a pattern, and notions. My sweet mama sewed the costume for me. I found some brown pumps at Payless Shoe Source for $3, bought red spray paint and brought home Elmer's Glue and red glitter from school and WALA! I was Dorothy. It took me a really long time to get my hair french braided that morning. I was hoping Kyla would be available to help me, but she was over at her friend's house at 6:00 a.m. being transformed into a zombie. Normally I don't really get into Halloween, but I actually really enjoyed being dressed up. I think I was the last teacher to take off my costume, and I put it back on that night to pass out candy at home. I got some snarky looks from pre-teen girls, but luckily I'm older and strong enough now that those don't slash my heart open like they did when I was younger. I am not sure if I like the dressing up part or if it's that I got to be Dorothy. I was a serious Wizard of Oz geek as a kid. It was my FAVORITE movie and I looked forward to wathcing it all year. Once, I remember standing on a kitchen chair with my face about 3 inches from the clock counting down the seconds until 8:00 when it would start. I waited there for about 300 seconds quivering with anticipation. On another occasion, I took my battery operated cassette player (you know, the flat black kind from 1976) and placed it next to the speaker on the TV and recorded the music and dialogue of the entire movie. I listened to that recording over and over again. Unfortunately, I missed a few parts because I paused the recording during commercials and had forgotten to turn it back on. Luckily, they weren't crucial parts. Whatever the reason, I am glad to be at my new school with a great, fun-loving staff. My heart is happy.
The staff already picked out a theme for next year, but I am unable to divulge this top secret information. It should be fun, though!

Newly Employed

On Halloween Kyla wanted to be a zombie. We went to the mall and got her a couple of cute shirts (this little animal print was one of them) and a makeup kit that had fake skin and fake blood and all that good stuff in it. It was late by the time we finished shopping, so we called the boys and decided to get a quick dinner from Taco Bell. While we were in the drive thru, her phone rang. It was the owner of our local gymnastics center calling her for an interview. An interview on Monday at 4:45. She was super excited. After we got home, she realized that Monday was Halloween, and she was perplexed about what to do. Should she dress up? Would it be appropriate to go to the interview as a zombie? Maybe she could wait and dress up after the interview... But she really wanted to wear her costume to school. What's a girl to do?

After talking to her friend who works at the gym, she decided to dress up and wear her costume to the interview. I was a little worried... but SHE GOT THE JOB!! She worked at her first birthday party yesterday, and tomorrow is her first day of helping to teach classes. I am so proud of my beautiful zombie!

Fire and Light Sale

For three years now, Cindy and I have been venturing up to the Fire and Light Sale in Arcata. We always get there around 10 and wait in line for about an hour. This year I was pretty amped up to buy dinner plates to go with the four bowls I got last year. I also really wanted wine goblets. As soon as we walked in the door, I saw there was no red anywhere (and I absolutely had to have a red plate) and no goblets in sight either. I felt the wind go out of my sails pretty quickly. So we puttered up and down the crowded aisles for a while. I had a couple of things in the cart, but I wasn't feeling very enthused... Then, unexpectedly, a little bit up our row, I saw someone putting out red dinner plates. I practically ran over there and claimed the one I wanted... Now things were looking up! I got 4 plates... red, blue, green and yellow. Perfect. A little while later I saw someone unwrapping martini glasses. There were 4 of them, but 2 were the same color, so I only got three... black, turquoise, and green. My Fire and Light placesettings are looking pretty sweet!

Tuesday's Top Ten

1. I figured out how to use WW online, so now my activity points get used up before my special weekly allowance.

2. I lost 3 pounds last week. Yay!!

3. I have been over on my point totals every day this week, so I am not expecting another 3 pounds this week.

4. Boot Camp the first day was horrible. It was drizzly rain, and the class is held outside. We ran from 5th and F (the gym) to 6th and H, then down to 2nd and H, then to 1st and F. That was our warm up. I NEVER run willingly, so I was huffing away by the time we got there. (I was the lame girl who couldn't even run around the 1/4 mile track in high school.) The circuit training wasn't too bad, except we kept running up and down the boardwalk in between and my heart rate was just going crazy. I was the slacker/loser who had to walk. Then, I had to leave the class 20 minutes early due to a restroom emergency... There are no bathrooms on the boardwalk. Ugh! It was a disappointing morning.

5. On Wedneday I had a super sore throat and a slight fever so I had to skip bootcamp.

6. I finally made it back this Monday. It was pouring down rain, so we had the class in the gym in a little room. It was pretty smelly in there by the time the class was over, but I made it!! (There was no running required during that class, but there sure was a surplus of jumping!) Today my body is pretty sore, but feeling good.

7. My class of first graders is settling in to the routine. A couple of times this week I've looked up during groups and seen everyone engaged and busy at their independent work while I do guided reading at my table. Hooray!

8. Kyla's driving test to get her license is in 7 days. My heart palpitates just a little when I think about it.

9. I am falling behind on picture editing, housecleaning, laundry and dishes. I haven't reached the point of panic yet, though, so like a true procrastinator I will probably not take care of these things tonight.

10. Yesterday Mark and I went to all the floor places in Eureka and looked at flooring and counter top possibilities for our kitchen. It's such a big decision, I am having a hard time deciding what I want. Help me out, What is your dream kitchen?

Weight Watchers

So I've broken down and joined WW online. I've been on for a day and a half. I went over my Points total yesterday, and cut into my weekly splurge points. However, it doesn't take into account your activity points for the day until after you have used all your weekly splurge points. I just don't get it. I was looking forward to that splurge on Friday... pizza and a nice girly martini...I hope my activity points will carry over.

Also, tomorrow I am back to boot camp. They cancelled my T/Th night class, so the only option is M/W at 5:30 am. I had a little mini heart attack this morning when I realized what I'd signed up for!! Guess I'll be in bed early!

Oh, my sad little blog...

I can't believe I only blogged 2 times last month. I think my average for the past 6 months is probably 2 times per month. Sad.

I guess I have lost my voice.

Will you help me find it?

I am thinking of the things that happened this month I could blog about... Hmmmm....

1. Kyla NOT getting to take her driving test.
2. The Women's Retreat
3. My work life
4. My lack of photo editing/scrapbooking
5. How I never print photos out anymore
6. How I rarely take pictures because I don't like editing them
7. Recipes I've been trying
8. What I've been reading

That's all I can come up with.
Now, let me know what you'd like to hear about... or see (if I actually get my camera out, take a picture and edit it to post/print)

Thanks! Nancy

Today....

working: On little school projects here and there. Hanging art, taping down nametags on desks since we've worked out the kinks, assembling assessment binders, copying homework packets and putting papers in folders to take home.

reading: Middlemarch by George Elliot. It is taking me FOREVER to get through. Did you know it was actually written by a woman and is the most acclaimed Victorian novel of its time? Still only on page 257 of 800 or so.

feeling: Content. It has been such a good day. Sunshine, work, laundry, shopping. Normally these things do not breed contentment in me, but today they did.

listening: To Pepper whine because we had chicken for dinner and he didn't get any. Also, there is Sportscenter on in the other room. (Football season is back!)

cooking: We had Rotisserie chicken from Costco for dinner, but I did make some pasta and some sauteed zucchini and yellow squash to go along with it.

worth thinking about: There is this great blog called "The Generous Wife." She sends out a daily email to her subscribers to help them to be more generous to their husbands. I am by no means super generous, but it has helped me to lean more that way. :-)

Happy Saturday! Love, Nancy

The first week

I have been a first grade teacher for 5 days now. It was a good week. I've been meaning to take some pictures of my room, but I keep forgetting to take my camera to school. Also, Kyla is taking digital photography, so she is using my camera a couple of days a week. But, here are some highlights without pictures.

1. I have a cute little guy who stands up at the rug a couple of times a day and says, "Teacher, I need a hug."
2. On Monday we started learning about having our own supplies in our tool kits. We learned about sharing a "double desk" with our neighbor. We practiced lining up in alphabetical order. We talked about the rules. We met "Herm the Worm".
3. On Tuesday I tried to have a discussion about what "Working Hard" looked like and sounded like. From the blank looks on all their 5 and 6 year old faces, I realized I have to act it out, not talk about it!
4. On Wednesday we had our first minimum day. We were sad not to have P.E. I went to my first staff meeting. It was over at 3:15. I was amazed.
5. On Thursday we did our first Science lesson. It was about weather. We learned to play "Ro Sham Bo" to solve a dispute. We got to the part in our pirate book where the mean pirates and the good kids finally meet. I made myself cough from using such a growly, loud voice for "Cap'n Bones".
6. Today we had a few people absent on early vacations. We watched a "Between the Lions" video. We played duck, duck, goose.

It was a good day.

A Wedding (Part 1)

So my cousin asked me to take pictures for her son's wedding. I was super excited and nervous. I went over to Hayfork at around 10:00 to take pictures of the bride, groom and attendants getting ready. Here are a few of my favorites...

The flowers

A belated birthday post

I had a fabulous birthday this weekend!
1. I had a great dinner with the other Bergenske family up at their house...

2. I made myself some yummy yellow cupcakes with chocolate frosting. Look at how I even used a pastry tip to pipe on the frosting!!

3. I went to the movies with Cindy to see "Crazy Stupid Love" and after she gave me a plate of these delicious homemade "hostess" cupcakes. They were even filled!!

Wacky Wednesday!!

On our last night in Vegas, the girls and I lined up for our habitual evening photos. This time I put a chair in the area where we usually stood and told everyone to get comfy.

Aren't we cute? Then I yelled "SWITCH" and set the timer again...

Now I've got Gina laughing...SWITCH!

Now we're having a good time!

OK... one last time... SWITCH!

Awwww... we lost it! But now we are ready to go see Carrot Top!!

Top Ten for Tuesday

1. Mark and I drove to San Francisco on Sunday afternoon where we stayed in a pretty posh little boutique hotel in San Bruno. We walked to a nearby Chinese restaurant for dinner. SF really is the best place for Chinese food. The wonton soup was none of that broth in a cup with one wonton floating around... It was this big bowl with huge, meatfilled wontons, prawns, mushrooms, pea pods (super fresh and tasty!), carrots, and sliced pork. We also had chicken salad, mongolian beef and prawns in lobster sauce. It was great.

2. The reason we were in SF was so that Mark could fly to Santa Ana (south of LA), to pick up the boy's new Mazda RX8. It is an awfully sweet car. So yesterday Mark went to the airport at 6:00 a.m. for his flight, while I slept late, did yoga in the hotel room and missed the complimentary breakfast by a half hour.
This is the car he got...

3. I ended up on the road by 10:05 and made it home at around 4:00.

4. Mark ended up on the road by 10:15 and made in home at around 10:00.

5. We are both tired today... He at least deserves to be tired, I am just pitiful! :-)

6. I stopped in Pepperwood at my parents' house on the way home and picked up the first bag of zucchini of the season. I will be generously supplied with more zucchini than any one family could possibly eat for the next couple of months, so any good zucchini recipes would be greatly appreciated!

7. I have been plotting all weekend to make plans to see my sweet Michelle before summer is out, and we had a plan all worked out. I was floating around... so looking forward to spending the weekend with her... Then, BANG! my brain actually kicked into gear and I realized I have a cousin getting married that weekend! I really hope we can reschedule. I miss her smile and voice and laugh.

8. All of my boxes of school stuff are officially INSIDE my new classroom now. I took the last 2 loads over today. I couldn't unpack anything, though, because the 2 foot wide strip of linoleum in front of my wall of cabinets had just been waxed.

9. I am still reading One Hundred Years of Solitude... It feels like it's taking 100 years to get through!

10. It was actually raining here in Eureka this morning. I couldn't believe it when I let Pepper out and saw the wet patio. Pepper wasn't too thrilled, either! It did get sunny later in the day, though. Now, the sun is setting, and it is lovely.

Happy Tuesday! Love, Nancy

Thankful Thursday

I am trying to get back in the habit of practicing gratitude as often as possible. So, if I find myself in front of the computer on a Thursday, I might as well make a list.

1. Thankful I got to babysit Sophia again this week (and will get to see her again next week). She's just getting to be so much fun!!

2. Thankful my friend Cindyanna came over with her 2 kids while Sophia was here. It made the time fly by!!

3. Thankful I have finished cleaning out my Fieldbrook classroom. I turned in my keys today. It's bittersweet. I will definitely miss my friends there, but hope to keep in touch as much as possible. It just feels good to have accomplished something between vacations.

4. Thankful for a weekend of catching up with the girls in Vegas. We laughed and danced and chatted. It was good for my soul.

5. Thankful for the Tour de France. It is something Mark and I are both interested in, so we watch it together and talk about it.... so important to share interests in a marriage. Who would have ever guessed I'd become a cycling fan? I didn't learn to ride a 2 wheeler until I was 11 or 12! I am considering asking for a new bike for my birthday which is coming up soon.

6. Thankful for completing the editing of the Cabo pictures. Now I just need to figure out what to do with them. I am considering a pre-made photo book. That would be something I have never tried before. Here's one of my favorites...

7. As always, thankful for YOU... someone actually reading my blog!! Would love it if you'd leave a comment!!

Love, Nancy